As I said in the first post, there are days when it’s hard to feel positive.
Today was one of them.
For the past few months, my paternal grandfather’s health has been declining. He’s getting on up there in age, as he was born in 1929, but he’s always been very active. A few months ago he was rushed to the hospital after having a complete blockage in his carotid artery, and ever since then, he just hasn’t fully recovered. Earlier this week, my aunts took him to the doctor, because he hadn’t been acting his usual self. After running several tests and meeting with his GP and a specialist, they believe he’s in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. My maternal grandfather, who passed away in 2001, had Alzheimer’s as well, and the last few months he was alive, I remember going into his room to visit him and he wouldn’t know who I was at all. That’s a hard thing for a young girl to understand, and it really hurt. Now that I’m older, I hope to have a better understanding of the disease, but it’s still not going to be easy. I’ve always been close to my grandpa, and I hope I never have to see him when he’s not lucid, but I know that’s not anything someone can promise me.
Along with my grandpa, I’ve always been very close to my aunts. My father was a truck driver for the first few years of my life, and my mother was never really around, so it was them who took care of me the majority of the time. They got me ready for school in the morning, helped me with my homework… and then later on in my life, they served as the “mother figures” up until my father married Kim in 2003. Even now, with me knocking on the door of being 20 years old, they’re still the ones that support me. My rent, phone bill, insurance, car payment, and other necessities are all payed by my Aunt Deborah, Aunt Wanda, and Aunt Rachel. I try to help them out whenever I can, because they’ve always been there for me. For instance, this weekend my Aunt Deborah needed me to drive her to Milton, FL because her eyes had been bothering her. I didn’t think too much of it, chalking it up to allergies, and agreed to drive her.
This morning my Aunt Lois called me around 7 am and left me a message to call her back. I, being a hardcore insomniac, had just started to drift off, so I called her back immediately. She then told me the news about my grandpa. I was upset, and talked to her for a few minutes about it, but then told her “Alright Aunt Lois, I’m tired, so I’ll call you back in a few hours and you can tell me more when I’m a little more awake.” She said “Wait… there’s something else I’ve got to tell you.” She then told me that the day before my Aunt Deborah woke up to find that she was blind. She couldn’t see anything out of either of her eyes, and her left eye had a blood vessel in it that had burst. It was pouring blood, so they took her to the hospital immediately. They don’t know what caused this to happen, so they set her up an appointment for Thursday with a specialist in Pensacola, FL.
I am so scared for both of them. I honestly don’t know what I would do if I lost either of them… or if my aunt loses her sight permanently. She’s a nurse, and has been for several decades. I’m scared to know what’s going to happen… but most of all, I’m upset because there’s nothing I can do to help either of them.
I stayed in bed most of the day, because I was pretty upset. I got up finally to go watch American Idol with my friends and eat dinner. Shortly after that I told them what was going on. They, of course being the awesome people they are, offered me words of love and support which made me feel a lot better. I also told my friend Eric, and although he lives over a thousand miles away, he still showed me the same amount of support they did.
So that’s what I’m grateful for today: great friends. These guys love me even when I’m not the most fun to be around or talk to. They know I come with hardships and sadness, and they keep me around for more than just comedic relief. So, I challenge everyone to hug your friends a little bit longer when they’re having a down day. Call them and listen to them talk for a while. Or just text them a little reminder saying “Hey, I’m thinking about you and I love you!” You will never know how much of a difference it could make in their day.
